By Myself

What do i do to ignore them behind me? 
Do i follow my instincts blindly? 
Do i hide my pride from this bad dreams 
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening? 
Do i sit here and try to stand it? 
Or do i try to catch them red-handed? 
Do i trust some and get fooled by phoniness 

Or do i trust nobody and live in loneliness? 
Because i can't hold on when i'm streched so thin 
I make the right moves but i'm lost within 
I put my daily facade but then 
I just end up getting hurt again 
By myself (Self) 
I ask why/but in my mind i find 
I can't rely on myself 

I can't hold on 
[To what i want when i'm streched so thin] 
It's all too much to take in 
I can't hold on 
[To anything watching everything spin] 
With thougths of failure sinking in 

If i turn my bak i'm defenseless 
And to go blindly seems senseless 
If i hide my pride and let it all go on 
Then they'll take from me till everything is gone 
If i let them go i'll be outdone 
But if i try to catch them i'll be outrun 
If i'm killed by the questions like a cancer 
Then i'll be buried in the silence of the answer 
[By myself] 

I ask why/but in my mind i find 
I can't rely on myself 

I can't hold on 
[To what i want when i'm streched so thin] 
It's all too much to take in 
I can't hold on 
[To anything watching everything spin] 
With thougths of failure sinking in 

How do think/I've lost so much 
I'm so afraid/I'm out of touch 
How do you expect/I will know what to do 
When all i know/It's what you tell me to 

Don't you know 
I can't tell you how to make it go 
No matter what i do, i hard i try 
I can't seem to convince my self why 
I'm stuck to the outside 

I ask why/but in my mind i find 
I can't rely on myself 

I can't hold on 
[To what i want when i'm streched so thin] 
It's all too much to take in 
I can't hold on 
[To anything watching everything spin] 
With thougths of failure sinking in 

In the end

It starts with [one] 
One thing 
I don't know why it doesn't even matter how hard you try 
Keep that in mind 
I designed this rhyme to explain in due time 
All I know 
Time is a valuable thing 
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings 
Watch it count down to the end of the day 
The clock ticks life away 
It's so unreal 
Didn't look out below 
Watch the time go right out the window 
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know 
I wasted it all just to watch you go 
I kept everything inside 
And even though I tried 
It all fell apart 
What it meant to me will eventually 
Be a memory of a time when 

I tried so hard and got so far 
But in the end, it doesn't even matter 
I had to fall to lose it all 
But in the end it doesn't even matter 

One thing, I don't know why 
It doesn't even matter how hard you try 
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme to remind myself how 
I tried so hard 
In spite of the way you were mocking me 
Acting like I was part of your property 
Remembering all the times you fought with me 
I'm surprised it got so [far] 
Things aren't the way they were before 
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore 
Not that you knew me back then 
But it all comes back to me 
in the end 
you kept everything inside 
And even though I tried 
It all fell apart 
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time 

I tried so hard and got so far 
But in the end, it doesn't even matter 
I had to fall to lose it all 
But in the end it doesn't even matter 

I put my trust in you 
Pushed as far as I can go 
For all this 
There's only one thing you should know 
I've put my trust in you 
Pushed as far as I can go 
For all this 
There's only one thing you should know 

I tried so hard and got so far 
But in the end, it doesn't even matter 
I had to fall to lose it all 
But in the end it doesn't even matter